Another Major to Major conversation
Me: Maj. Gafney how may I help you?
Him: Yes, this is Maj. XXXX. I’m looking for a checkpoint.
Me: Ok.
Him: It’s on XXXX Street.
Me: Well, Baghdad is a big city and I don’t know all the streets. Do you know what area it is in?
Him: I’m not sure.
Me: Ok, well, let’s narrow it down. Is it east or west of the river.
Him: To the left.
Me: Um, ok, well do you know what area to the left of the river it is.
Him: It says it’s check point XXXXX.
Me: That doesn’t sound right. Checkpoints aren’t numbered that way.
Him: Are you looking at the map?
Me: Yes.
Him: Ok it’s where the green part ends.
Me: Really? My map probably has a different “green” area then your map. Do you have a grid or something to get me a little closer.
Him: (silence)
Me: Ok, well, if you can get me a grid to the “green” area, I might be able to help you out. Even get me the name of the suburb of Baghdad and I might get you close, but I can’t go ask the Iraqis about the checkpoint in the “green” area.
Him: Um, ok. I’ll try and find out more and email you.
Me: Ok.
You go down the road a piece, turn left where the big old oak tree use to be at the Tanners place. Follow the road until you come to the fork in the road and then you take it.
When You see the burned down house that was yellow, you are only a short distance from where you want to be. Watch out for the wolves though, they get kindda mean this time of year.
chas
Shit. He sounds like a girl. My God, even I know North, South, East and West. Aren’t you Army people supposed to know how to read maps? Isn’t that like Army 101?
I am always amazed when I hear about people like this ESPECIALLY in our armed forces.
I was just telling Jim this morning about how Dad taught us to spore test mushrooms (to determine edibility for you lay people out there), how to know what berries you can eat, and about us going Morel hunting. I’m sure both our husbands are thankful for the resourcefulness that was forced upon us as children. At least I know that if I got stuck in the woods, ANY time of year, I could make it at least a few weeks…. and probably find my way out. Oh yeah, that goes for any city too….
Some of those guys can’t find their ass with their hands.